"Life is just a stage"

Im getting quite sick and tired of people having to act and pretend that they are something they're not.

Its sickening to walk into a room full of people who think they are so great just because they think they deserve some sort of respect. Its sickening to be in the presence of people who think that they are the only ones putting in effort and the only ones who care. Its sickening to listen to people boasting about how much they have done over the period of time and making everyone feel that they have not done enough for that someone or for that particular situation. Im sick of people pretending to be all so caring when time is drawing nigh. Im sick of people saying things about me when they themselves are such bums themselves (as i have just learnt from someone recently!!! juicy news!!!) Im just sick of pretenders and actors. Im sick of people who are not genuine.

Why make yourself sound so magnanimous by wanting to gain praises from all to somewhat "show" the world that you are such a great person who is so responsible and all. Come on. These are the things that you should have done in the first place and you did not do at all. Its something like you OWE them these things. Its like you Owe me a hundred bucks. And you pay me back monthly. Do you go round telling people "Eh this month i give him $1o to buy food know..." but in true fact you are repaying what you owe? Exactly the same. Why make it sound like you are doing so many things when it truly is the fact that you OWE these things and you are merely making up for lost time? And you expect us to see you as doing things because you are such a great person. Come on. So silly. What ever it is, Just do not step on my toes. I know you do not like me just because you have a strong hatred for christians. Plus the fact i do not curry flavour you or share you thoughts and views cuz i have a mind of my own and that i am just being indifferent to how you feel about everything. Step on my toes and i will give you a piece of my mind. Never hear me talk to you? Well now you have it right in your face where you will regret that i never did open them. Im not going to be rude or blunt. Im going to be civil but definitely the words will make you realise how shallow you are and how all these while you have done really nothing at all. So please enough of the acting please all of you! I do have rights you know! And i can stay as long as i want anytime i want. So deal with it. And you know what by you being like this, its really does not bother me because i know you do not like me from the start and the amazing thing is that I DONT CARE! as in i really dont bother..=)

Another thing is about people who think that they are so much holier than thou kinda attitude. Smelly attitude i must say. I used to have streeks of gold in my hair and plus i have a crap face as well. And this so called brother cornered me and told me that if i were to be a leader in church one day, He would quit church. I was so heart broken and all. Knowing how much of a stumbling block i have been, i did repent and turn over a new leaf. Abandoning all worldly pleasures and things that would make me worldly like my precious ear studs and my hard liquer and all my wordly bad habits. Not that i regret giving all these things up, but they did satisfy the flesh and it was not really worth it and it still is not what i want also from now onwards. =)
But to hear someone say such horrible things to your face when all you want to do is to serve God, its really very hard to hear. It kinda makes you feel so useless. But that was a few years ago. And to think how you despise my youth and not only mine but ALL of OUR youth. Maybe thats why you treat your daughter like some kinda captive and prisoner in her own home. Could it be bacause you despise her and you believe just because she is young she is incapable of anything good and only capable of making mistakes and bad choices? It takes much courage to stand up to someone like that but it takes even more courage to not want to say anything for the Lord teaches us to hold our peace.

I just somehow realised that i have so many relatives and they are all quite sucky. All with bad attutide and all wanting to have self glory in all that they do. Always comparing and all. Sickening. Very sickening. But all i can do is to pray for them for i know i nothing as well, and the Lord has been merciful. Oh Lord forgive me for being judgemental when that was not what i intended it to be and cleanse me of my every secret sin. Help me to continue to shine for you. I have changed over the past year. For the better that is. And i can see how important our testimony is.

SO now back to the story. When will people stop acting and pretending to be someone they are truly not?? Perhaps when they realise that no one is watching anymore. Or would they?