Speak when you're angry..

"Speak when you're angry & you'll make the best Speech you'll ever Regret."

This was used as one of my close friend's shoutout and i haven been seeing this line for at least the past two years. Wierd as it my seem this friend of mine doesent seem to want to change it. Saying it aloud really makes it sound true.

The other day we had a meeting in office and it suddenly turned out in a mini brawl. Just because someone wanted to talk and the other one just did not want to listen. And when i had to intervene and try to prevent any on coming "bombardments", i got the bullet, all because i said "Guys its just a misunderstanding....." and i was replied "ITS NOT A MISUNDERSTANDING".. sheesh.

Even today in the papers I read about making talking when you are angry and you kinda dont see the clear picture in any situation. As i think back of my younger days (im not that old), I kinda remember being pissed and angry ever so easily. I had a temper of a raging bull. Plus i have a "shit face" where everyone just looks at me and gets so irritated and just feel like punching me. And now as i look back, i feel so silly. Friendships has ended, relationships ended, hurt someone's feelings, took away what dignity was left of my victim, caused confusion, having someone made the centre of our mockery, smashed 6 telephones, caused a crack in my door, broken jaw to some poor kid. countless number of broken arms and joints and broken hearts as well. Arent we all guilty of that? Maybe not to such a certain degree as I. Nothing to be proud about as i was never given a trophy for accomplishing such stints.

Today i do look back at all the things i used to say to people and i truly regret all the nasty things i have said to people. Well one thing i did right was to tell it to their faces and not say it behind them, at least it makes me less of a hypocrite. But i kinda realise that they usually get hurt even more having it in their faces, sometimes its because the TRUTH really hurts. Ha.

So many thing on my mind and its seems so little time is left. I need a change of environment. I feel stagnated, stale, drained. I find no motivation in doing what i do best. I feel im losing my touch at what i started out 7 years ago. It like the sun light drained out all my "super powers". Maybe its time to try something new. Something fresh and do something i do best! Which is to talk. =) I do have the gift of the GAP. But ironically i kinda suck at talking to girls or hooking them up or even introducing myself. Most of the time i get my big foot in my mouth. Now i kinda see why when i get angry i say things which i really regret all the time. Well hopefully RP or ITE has a place for me to teach. I aspire to be an academia... as wierd as it may seem, i have used to have lotsa aspirations. Maybe i should just list them down. When i was small i wanted to be a fireman, a policeman, a pilot, a laywer, a forensic scientist, an undercover police dealing with drugs, and of course a beach bum driving around in my jeep with a huge dog wagging its tail in my face... =) If i ever tell this to my friends they might most probably laugh at me as no one really takes me seriously. I have no idea why but yah.

Well enough said. Just have to pray and ask the Lord for his guidance. And i thank HIM for every blessing bestowed upon me.. truly our Lord has been good to me, blessing me with great results, great friends, and always being there for me during my time of need... and im sure he will take care of me as he always has. =)