Elizabeth Kübler-Ross came out introduced a model in the late 1960s after studying dying people especially those with terminal illnesses. It was called the " 5 Stages of grief". Just to let you know im at this point of time not refering to any references. I believe its correct lah. =)
The Five stages are listed as follows:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Since its based on dying people, I will be giving examples with regards to dying people. BUT we also see the similarity in the behaviours of those who have faced great losses and tragedy. So we do see this in our daily lives as well.
- Denial - "Im feeling fine! But this cant be happening to me!!!"
- Anger - ""Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can you accept this!"
- Bargaining - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."
- Depression - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
- Acceptance - "It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
SO there you go. Just some examples on each single point of the model.
We do see such behaviour in ourselves dont we?
Recently a turn of events occured in this life of mine. Im not washing dirty laundry in public =). Seriously i never expected things to turn out this way. Not that i expected anything out of anything but i never did believe this would happen. Theres so much to say but then again. Maybe some things are better left unsaid and definitely not meant to be posted where people then start to judge and all. But yes im appauled by the turn of events. Not that i want to question but i always do. And that kinda makes it easier for the opposite party to relay the message across as people dont like to be put under pressure and that makes them irritated and agitated and all. This is already happened numerous times and I thought that i would be really affected by it but then again. I have yet to show signs of anything.
Just did not understand why things could turn and change so quickly. Without warning and without any tell tale signs. Well nothing is fair and we sometimes have to just accept things for the way they have somewhat progressed. But this really makes me feel very unhappy with myself. I wonder whats wrong with me and i wonder what is it that makes people tell me what im always told. I thought you said that this time things would be very different from the past that i have been through whenever i mention those happenings..but then again, things have developed in that direction. And the most fearsome part is that Im already so Numb by all these that i wonder if I myself still have feelings or emotions in Benjamin Kan anymore. I used to be different. And now im so different as well.
They say time heals all wounds. Time helps us to understand. I have already been out of a R/S for ages. Thought that i could move on with the new developments, but im back at square one now. And the worse part is that it came too sudden. Maybe I need to trust in the Lord more. But the thing is that i have been praying so so so hard. For me to seek HIS will and to grant me what he disires of me to desire. Everything felt so real. Correction, Everything was real. Maybe the real problem truly lies with me.
Oh Lord im tired im weary and im worn.. Hold my hand Lord. I still cant accept this change. Dont think i would ever. But just to make people happy we have to pretend to have already done that so perhaps they wont feel so bad. But I dare say now that Im never going to be able to accept this turn of events. The numbness really makes me afraid. Dont I care about anything anymore? If i am being punished for all the things i should not have done, then Lord help me to accept it. Lord help me to understand and if it is your will, you will make a way for it. =..........( you will right Lord?? you will right?!..... Make this all go away..Please Lord PLEASE....
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